February has been the perfect time at Do Tell to talk about emotions, but as we wrap up the month, there’s one feeling state we haven’t really addressed… the broken heart. Last week, we talked about the Managed Heart, when we are told how to feel and lose touch with ourselves.

But what about when we’re really VERY aware of our emotions and they are BAD.

You may be thinking that you’ve gotten past the broken heart. We tend to associate it with love relationships. But, the broken heart can slap us across the face when we least expect it.

What about the job that you wanted to badly, but didn’t get?

What about a child who doesn’t want to be a part of your life anymore?

What about the disappointment of parents who stopped being there in your time of need?

Any broken relationship can bring us broken hearts, and broken emotions.

The advice this month has been to pay attention to how you feel and act in order to find your emotional guidance system. When you do this it will make life easier, smoother and lead you towards the happiness you deserve.

But when a heart is broken… there are often so many emotions, they can lay us low. You may be afraid of what you feel.

Author Susan Piver says don’t be afraid. A broken heart can be an opening. Piver says, “When your heart is broken you have direct access to these qualities that through one lens feel genuinely terrible. But if you could just shift in your seat a few percentage points suddenly they look like aspects of wakefulness and presence.”

In her book, The Wisdom of a Broken Heart, Piver advises us to not analyze or debate the emotions of our broken hearts, but to rather relax, allowing our hearts to be broken. Then as the experiences of other people touch us, and we are keenly aware of our desire to love and be loved, we can channel those broken heart emotions into a place where we can find happiness by giving to others.

That kind of happiness will come through better connections with ourselves and others. That’s something we’ve learned at Do Tell. Just sitting down together in a non-threatening environment with people who may have broken our hearts in the past has helped others rebuild connections, and it could help you too.

While none of us want to be broken hearted, it can be a door to guide us to the life we want. Just learn to listen to your emotions, ask the right questions, and get re-connected with a better you.